Skinny jeans...Are you kidding me?

So I have this friend.  Well she is actually like a sister from another mister to me, but she has this figure that I would die for.  Only I am like 4 inches shorter than her and I outweigh her by...a lot.  She is also my fashion consultant.  She tells me to make up my own rules when I am picking out my outfits.  So I was asking her one night about some outfits I could put together because I had gotten some new boots.  They were really cute and I wanted to wear them soon because I was tired of the same ole things I was wearing.  So she told me to get some tights with a long sweater or skirt and then she said it.  She said to get me some skinny jeans.  I laughed so hard.  I read somewhere that you burn a bunch of calories when you laugh.  Needless to say I burned a lot in that conversation.
    I continued to put off that shopping trip until one day I got brave.  With all the snow we have had this winter, my son and I had to get out of the house.  So we did.  We went and had lunch and did some shopping.  We ended our journey in the women's section and what was the first thing I saw?  Yep, skinny jeans.  Well, I started looking at them thinking maybe I could pull this off.  Reese, my 6 year old, was getting a little impatient so I walked away from them and we headed over to his department.  After he was done with his shopping, we ventured back to the women's section.  Yep, right back to the skinny jeans.  As I was looking at the sizes, I was like..."Seriously!"  So after getting the size 16, which is not my normal size, I thought to myself that was ridiculous.  I mean skinny jeans in a size 16.  Isn't that kind of contradicting?  Not to imply that 16 is a huge size, but lets face it.  It ain't skinny.
    But as I looked around, everyone in the store had some on and not that I wanted to be like them but some of the people who were wearing them, well, I thought if they can wear them and get away with it then I can too.  So off to the dressing room we went.  Reese was so thrilled.  I walked to the dressing room and he stomped.  After making it to the dressing room I tried on a few other things first to get up my nerve to try on these so called "skinny jeans".  After deciding on the other items, I started the process.  I say it that way because let me tell you, it was a process.  I start with one leg and could already see this was not going to be pretty and I apologized to Reese in advance for having to see such a sight.  I started with the second leg and after falling into the wall and going head first into Reese's lap and then losing my balance and falling to my knees I was well on my way to getting these jeans on.  I am sure the attendant on the outside thought I was performing an exorcism or something.  At the very least she was probably looking for the number to child services.  So I finally get them on and in a winded voice I said,"There, what do you think, Reese?"  His reply was," Are you really gonna buy those?  Who are those for, Mom?"  Ah the honesty of the a child.  So refreshing. That pretty much told me I did not need to try on anymore.  After laughing my head off and returning them to their home, I walked away from them and returned not only once but twice to look at them again.  So after all that, I bought them anyway.  I cover a lot of the embarrassing places that prove that I should not wear skinny jeans, but I can wear my boots and like I always say it is all about the shoes anyway.
    Case and point just cause it says skinny jeans and just cause everyone in the store is wearing them does not mean you have to buy them. Contrary to popular belief, they don't make everyone look skinny.   And might I add that my friend looks so cute in hers that I hate her for a split second and then I think some day, Julie, some day.